FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I’m not even sure how to express my feelings right now through words … I’m speechless, well sort of … watch  this video

THIS IS HOW I FEEL:

When faced with loss most people go through a ‘grief cycle’ which consists of:

• Shock
• Denial
• Anger
• Despair
• Acceptance

My emotions for the last 24 hours have deviated from the norm somewhat …

• Shock
• disbelief
• more shock
• Anger
• frustration
• more shock
• fury
• thoughts of arson
• more anger
• acceptance
• anger
• thoughts of going to my mothers house to kick the dogs to death
• acceptance again
• feeling like shit
• anger

Right now I feel like climbing onto the roof of my house and shouting CUNT at anyone that walks past, these normal people don’t understand the sense of loss a Wota feels when shit like this happens.

After the news dropped of Koharu leaving I had to go into work, obviously I was in no mood to operate heavy machinery, and quite frankly its amazing I didn’t go on a killing frenzy with a forklift truck and a hammer, people I work with asked why I looked ’so serious’ … I meekly said ‘oh nothing’ but what I really wanted to say was ”FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR NORMAL LIFE BULLSHIT … MY IDOL IS LEAVING ME … I HOPE YOUR HOUSE BURNS TO THE GROUND WITH EVERYONE IN IT ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN AND PETS’.

Yes, I’m being over the top … but under the circumstance can you really blame me? I’ve been a Koharu fan from day 1 … day fucking 1!!!! bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Now the biggest questions in my mind are :

Why the fuck is a 7th gen leaving before 5 and 6th gens?

Why get rid one of the most profitable girls?

Why wasn’t it Aika graduating? she only has 3 fans.

We will never know the real reasons and secret politics behind this,  I’d like to think that Koharu wasn’t pushed into making this decision although this will forever remain a mystery.

I can safely say that my fandom for Morning Musume has fallen off the wagon this year … but this latest drama is like the wagon came back for me, ran over my face, and then the rider of the wagon got off and proceeded to kick me in the nuts and piss on me, my love for Morning Musume is now at its lowest point its ever been. EVER.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

In other news I no longer have a favorite in Morning Musume, and I’m gonna go on a bender to end all benders.

Now excuse me I’m gonna go sit on the roof of the house.

Every morning when something pops through my letter box I roll my eyes and wish I was dead (or the postman was) this is because all the mail I ever receive mostly consists of pizza menus or letters from my bank telling me I’m overdrawn (again).

So when I get a mysterious package through my door I grab it like a demented retard scrambling to open it like my life depended on it.

Today was one of those days …

OH YEAH!!!

There’s nothing like waking up to some shiny new Morning Musume photos!

The mysterious sender also left their calling card …

Clearly Paul from Hello! blog is a man after my heart, and he’s doing a pretty damn good job so far considering he provides my server and tech support issues.

I owe Paul a huge thanks (and countless pints) so I hope I get the opportunity to meet up at some point shortly, hopefully for the EuroWota fest thing? cheers for the awesome gifts Paul! (also now I have your mobile number I’ll be calling you 3 in the morning when I’m drunk as fuck) hooray!

Also while on the subject of GETS check out this Hello! project mug I picked up, it’s pink and covered in all the girls signatures, I think it’s pretty damn cool … although I dare not drink from it because I’ll no doubt end up smashing the bloody thing.

I wonder if they sell Hello! project shot glasses? … anyone?